Change the way you breathe, change your life
We’re taught so little about how our bodies and our pleasure work that its a little like being given the keys to the car without any driving lessons. Often its only when things start to go wrong that we begin to ask how our sexual arousal, desire and our pleasure actually works.
When people are experiencing sexual problems ranging from rapid ejaculation (aka premature ejaculation) through to performance anxiety there are usually two key things happening. Firstly, the person is shallow breathing and secondly, their whole attention is with their thoughts with little awareness of what is happening in their body. Shallow breathing and over thinking can even create sexual problems.
As I wrote in my last blog, The Power of the Breath, when we breath shallowly, we activate the side of the nervous system called the ‘sympathetic nervous system’ which is associated with the fight/flight/freeze response and cuts us off from what we are feeling. Breathing shallowly actively promotes stress, anxiety and fear.
When our attention is stuck in thoughts, focused on either past events or worrying about the future, it’s impossible to be present and fully experience the moment. It’s impossible to notice what is actually happening in the body as our attention is elsewhere.
When you consciously breath deeply, the breath acts as a bridge between the mind and the body bringing us into the present moment, from thinking to feeling. The breath helps you to let go of thoughts and lose yourself in the moment.
It helps us to relax and taking a deep breath can quite literally transform anxiety into arousal. And as our awareness of our bodies increases we can start to notice what is happening. Awareness is the first step to change.
Deep breathing activates the ‘para sympathetic nervous system’ which instantly reduces stress and generates relaxation. Rather than being in a continual state of tension, the breath supports the body to relax and acts like an erotic pump, circulating sexual arousal through the whole of your body. With this, your arousal can expand and grow. Deep breathing can also help you to prolong your pleasure and the more you breathe, the more sensations you can feel in your whole body. And as you feel more, it can deepen intimacy and connection with yourself and your partners.
Imagine how taking more deep breaths will affect your whole life – work, family, stressful situations. Even taking a few deep breaths first thing in the morning can set the tone of your day, and at night, help you to sleep.
Over the coming weeks, I’ll be writing more on the breath as it so fundamental to our pleasure and our health and well being. I’ll be looking out how it can increase your pleasure, how to unlearn shallow breathing patterns and different types of breath for you to play with.
Sarah Rose Bright