I have gained my sexuality back from after two children. Finally I desire and feel sexual once again

by | Jun 8, 2023


Kate thought her sexuality had disappeared. Two children had left her feeling like her body wasn’t hers. Years of breastfeeding and children wanting lots of physical touch and attention, by the end of the day all she wanted was some time on her own.

She saw my group programme for women and she bravely said yes. She had never talked in detail with her friends about her sex life so to join in a programme with a group of women talking about sex was a big step.  It was her time to reclaim her sexual identity and her body for her, and I am so happy she did.

For Kate, one of the most powerful parts of the group was talking honestly and openly with other women about their sex lives. Kate said that it was so freeing and liberating to have these conversations that were once awkward for her. Now she is talking about sex more easily with her husband and one of the unexpected gifts of this course is that she feels it’s going to help her be more at ease with her children as they approach their teenage years.

Kate’s biggest shift was around desire. She thought that if she didn’t feel desire she must not have any. What she realised is that desire is a part of her that she can tend to and cultivate rather than waiting for it to happen. I see desire like a pilot light – it’s never fully gone, you need to find it and most importantly find how to fan the flames of desire.

Kate spent time exploring what felt good for her, on her own and with her husband and they started consciously creating time together. This was something they resisted at first. It’s a common belief that if sex doesn’t happen naturally, then something is up. With busy lives, sometimes it needs planning in. Like planning a date or a holiday, it can create excitement and anticipation.

Intimacy has blossomed in their relationship. Not just sexual intimacy but love and connection.  Rather than trying to reclaim what they had (Kate felt something was wrong as things ‘weren’t as they used to be’) they appreciate that their life is different now with 2 children and they are exploring a whole new phase of their s*x life together.

Kate found that she can be both a mum and have a sex life and she shared that it feels like an ‘adventure’ that she is excited to continue. Her confidence has grown as well and she applied for a promotion at work which she got. She shared she wouldn’t have done it without this course as she felt more confident to step up and go for what she wanted. Wow!!

These shifts regularly happen for women on my courses – one of the reasons I love running them so much. It’s the best job satisfaction :-)))

If this touches something in you and you are curious about working with me, you can read about Pleasure Mastery, my 1-1 coaching programme for women and Intimacy Mastery for couples. You can book a complimentary call with me to get clear on where you are now, where you are desiring to be and what is possible for you.  Book a call here and do message me if you have any questions at all.

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