How my clients Tina & Giorgio explored relaxed love making
Last weekend my clients Tina and Giorgio, both in their 50s, created space to explore what I call ‘relaxed love making’. With a combination of the sessions we have been doing together moving their focus away from goal based sex to ‘hanging out in pleasure’, they had also been reading Diana Richardson’s books (which I highly recommend as she writes to beautifully about how love making can be different).
They described this love making session as ‘an incredible discovery’ and they shared how they are totally rediscovering each other after ten years of marriage. They were both glowing and I could see a new level of connection between the two of them.
They intentionally set a space to connect at the weekend. They ate earlier than usual and connected at at time when they wouldn’t be tired. They moved their bodies so they could clear tension which people often pick up throughout the day. This enabled their bodies to meet from a softer and more connected place.
I share this as these things can be so important. Many couples go to bed to make love at the end of the day and find one or both of them are so tired that it either doesn’t happen or one of them wants to get it over and done with so they can get to sleep. Or, their bodies are full of stress and tension and they take this into their love making.
Tina shared that they had ‘never experienced anything like it’. She described this ‘gentle energetic connection’ that was ‘heart opening’ and kept rippling out into ‘more and more love’.
Tina felt Giorgio’s presence at a whole other level. She found this ‘really beautiful and healing’.
They both felt really safe with each other. Safety is not a word we always equate with pleasure. They found that this level of safety enabled them to open up to each other.
Giorgio shared the experience left him questioning what he had been doing for the last 35 years with sex! Giorgio’s erections have changed over the years and this has been a source of stress and worry. They tried soft penetration and what blew Giorgio away was that soft penetration wasn’t ‘the next best thing to hard penetration’, he shared that it was the best thing!! He found it deeply moving and shared that it was his most significant connection with a vagina since he came through one. Wow!
Giorgio found his performance anxiety ‘melt away’ from being inside Tina. He felt connected to Tina at a far deeper level. He felt the intelligence of their genitals as they ‘communicated’ as they relaxed together. He felt his genitals expanding at times and being drawn inside.
The only type of sex that we see in the movies or porn is hot and intense sex with lots of activity. You never see loving, gentle sex that is rooted in presence and being with no goal or agenda. I share this to give you a glimpse of what is possible when you slow down, relax and soften into each other. This is parasympathetic nervous system love making. This is love making bathed in oxytocin. This is literally ‘making love’.
We’ll be exploring this and more in INTIMACY, our group programme for couples which I am running with my partner Graeme. INTIMACY is 3 months to commit to and prioritise your relationship and your pleasure this autumn, starting in September. It’s full of powerful, beautiful and juicy practices that will strengthen the foundations of your relationship and transform the intimacy, love and pleasure that you experience together. Whether you are looking to revitalise your relationship or your committed to deepening what you have, we’ve got you!
You can read all about INTIMACY here. After reading the info, if you have any additional questions or you would like to book a 30 minute call with Graeme and I to see if INTIMACY is right for you both, please message me. Early bird offer available until the end of the month.
If you would prefer private couples coaching with Sarah, you can book a call here to find out more.