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Ten Tips to Enhance Your Self Pleasure

by
Sarah Rose Bright
-
August 2, 2017

Ten Tips to Enhance Your Self Pleasure

Research shows people who ‘masturbate’ or ‘self pleasure’, are more likely to have fulfilling sex lives, better health, happier relationships and an overall increase in self-confidence.  You become the expert of your own body and learn to be erotically self sufficient.  And there are many many more benefits – I could write an article on this alone.  Yet this fundamental area of our sex life is rarely mentioned in sex education and there is little information or discussion on how to transform self pleasure into a fulfilling erotic practice in its own right – whether your single or in relationship/s.

Most people learn at a young age to self pleasure quickly and quietly, usually for fear of being caught.  They take this pattern into their adult lives (and sexual relationships) and self pleasure is a fast and functional act, usually done in one very specific way (same hand movement, same position) when there is an ‘urge’. It can be an enjoyable one however it can become routine and in some cases, lead to sexual concerns such as early ejaculation.

 

Like motorway driving, it’s often the fastest and easiest route and gets you to where you want to go but how about more variety? A trip down the side roads, through the beautiful countryside, being surprised by discovering new places and enjoying different views? If you’re up for some adventure, here’s ten tips to inspire and enhance your self pleasuring:

1. Find a word to describe it that feels good to you: Whether masturbation, solo sex, self pleasure or something else – as long as it feels good to you. Do comment at the end of this article as would love to hear you views on the names you like and why.

2. Create some time for yourself: Time where you won’t be disturbed just as you would with a partner or lover. Put on some music, light some candles, use beautiful massage oil, whatever creates a delicious experience for you

3. Breathe: Breath is your number one sex toy! Often, as we get aroused, our breathing becomes more shallow. We may even hold our breath and all of the arousal is felt in the genital area. Try breathing slowly and deeply. Imagine the breath as a pump circulating your arousal through your whole body. With conscious breathing we create space to receive more pleasure.

4. Be your own pleasure detective: Explore your whole body and discover your hot spots. Your whole body is an erogenous zone. Be curious, noticing where you find pleasure, how you like it and how it changes. We let lovers explore our bodies so why not do it ourselves?

5. Let your arousal ebb and flow: Once we feel arousal, we usually focus on building it, heading for the goal of orgasm. Yet our arousal naturally rises and falls and it’s in this dance that our pleasure can grow. Enjoy the ebb and flow.

6. Slow down and savour your pleasure: We live in a culture of speed and we rush our pleasure. It’s like choosing fast food over a banquet. Experiment. If you think you’re going slow, reduce your speed by 50% and see what happens. You may speed up, then slow down again. Keep challenging yourself to slow down and notice how your pleasure changes.

7. Move: Often we stay in one position yet our arousal cannot flow through our bodies when we’re stationary. Move your body, especially your pelvis. Change positions – turn over, sit up, stand up.

8. Use your voice: We learn to self pleasure quietly, yet sound also helps our arousal to move and grow. I often find people who make noise with a partner but never on their own. If you’re normally silent, try making a sound when you exhale, like a sigh.

9. Focus on the sensations: Many people only self pleasure with either porn or fantasy.  When your focus is either in the mind or on external stimulation, it can limit the sensations you feel in your body.  When you’re using fantasy or porn, every now and then take your attention to your body. How does your body feel? What sensations do you notice? Breathe. You may go back to the fantasy or porn and enjoy it then focus back on your body. Keep crossing back and forth between the sensations in your body and enjoying the fantasy or porn. Overtime this increases the feeling and sensations in your body.

10. Experiment with sex toys: This could be vibrators, dildos, anal toys, feathers – there are so many to choose from.  It’s worth spending time researching what’s available, what they do and reading reviews. Lubricant is also an essential sex toy. It changes the way you touch yourself and people find it’s more sensual. Again, a vast range available so worth researching.

There is much more I could add to this list and you may be doing some of them already.  Whatever you’re currently doing, my invitation is to do something different. If you use toys, try without. If you’re silent use your voice. If you go fast, try going slow and so on.

 

Start by picking one or two from this list that you’re curious about and experiment with them. Do you enjoy them? Do they change your pleasure? Do you find them challenging?  If not, try another one. Most of all, enjoy!  And, all ten of these are great to explore when you’re with a lover or a partner too.

I hope this article has inspired you to experiment and explore your self pleasure and I’d love to hear how you get on or what you’d add to this list.  You can visit the Orgasmic Yoga Institute, founded by Joseph Kramer for further inspiration and access the best in online erotic education.

Do sign up for my newsletter and of course, if I can help in anyway, please do get in touch. I’d love to hear from you.

Wishing you much pleasure,

Sarah

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    Meet Sarah

    Welcome! I am Sarah Rose Bright, a leading certified Sex, Pleasure & Intimacy Coach empowering women and couples to ignite their sexuality, discover and express their true sexual nature and live their full potential.

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    My online course for women Ignite Your Sexuality i My online course for women Ignite Your Sexuality is available now and you can join anytime. Each of the ten modules is prerecorded so that you go through them in your own time and at your own pace with the added value of live monthly Q&A sessions. 
Ignite brings the structure, knowledge, practices and support for you to understand who you are as a sexual woman, the influences that have shaped you and what gets in the way of your full expression, how self love and body love is foundational to your sexual flourishing, how to cultivate true desire, get to know your full arousal and pleasure potential, to discover your authentic erotic expression, how to share that with another and how to create great sex! See link below for full details about the course including a video about it. And as always, any questions do message me. 
Sign up by 4th May to make the most of the bonus weekly Q&A sessions for the month of May to support and inspire you. If you have the time, now really is a golden opportunity to explore this <3
    In my cocoon I have been prerecording my online co In my cocoon I have been prerecording my online course for women - Ignite Your Sexuality, so you can access it anytime.  On one level it feels crazy to be offering this course at this time and I am aware that it is not possible for many of you for lots of different reasons. Yet some of you have been contacting me about starting Ignite as they have the time and space. 
This quote from The Pleasure Gap by Katherine Rowlands eloquently encapsulates the focus of Ignite. She says: “The women who shared stories of loving sex or of having profound sexual experiences reminded me at times of careful cartographers. They were not inventing new lands so much as mapping the full extent of existing territory.” This is SO true. Media advice is focused on performance such as the five greatest tips to give the best oral sex or how to bring in ‘novelty’ whether new positions or sex toys.  Yet this is so far from the truth.  Getting to know what we already have is the work. 
What we already have is incredible, we just don’t know it. 
Exploring our sexual expression is a voyage to revealing deeper parts of ourselves.

Our bodies are vast continents of unmapped pleasure to be discovered and explored.

Our desires rather than being hidden, suppressed or shameful can be excavated and harnessed as source of personal power, deep pleasure and inspiration.

The pleasure we can experience is SO much more than we learn - our pleasure is like a muscle we can strengthen to feel and experience more. 
The erotic is a language that we all can become fluent in. 
We just need to know how. 
This is what Ignite Your Sexuality provides - a pleasure map and a guide for you to discover what you already have and more. 
Right now is a golden opportunity (though I appreciate not for everyone). Join the women who are already onboard exploring, discovering and experiencing magic.
Sign up before Monday 4th to make the most of the bonus live Q&A calls for the month of May. 
Link in Bio for full details.
    Very much looking forward to bei the first guest f Very much looking forward to bei the first guest for the @sistercircletemple new venture Temple Talks we’ll be chatting about why pleasure is important right now and I’ll be guiding you through a nourishing practice and a journaling exercise x looking forward to seeing you there x to join, go to the @sistercircletemple page and the link is in the bio 🙏🏽😘💖. #pleasureasselfcare #templetalks #inspiration
    Inspiring evening with @drjohndemartini at @yes.gr Inspiring evening with @drjohndemartini at @yes.group.london 
Dr John was talking about relationships and how the key is finding balance in relationships - someone who supports us and also challenges us and vice versa - too much of either not healthy, it’s finding that balance both ways 
So much I am inspired by but couple of things really stayed with me

1. A genius is one who follows their inner voice and vision. I love this though I know it’s not always easy to do - it took me years to learn to listen and trust mine and it’s still work in progress 😉

2. We need to be really clear on our values and review regularly 
When we are and we do stuff that is in alignment with our highest values we value ourselves, when we do stuff that is more aligned with our lowest values, we devalue ourselves
Dr John has a free values process on his website which I am going to do 
Thank you @thesonyamortonfirthshow for inviting me and if you are in London check out the @yes.group.london and check out @drjohndemartini website 🙏🏽💖😘 #livingintentionally #powerofintention
    Loved doing this interview with @thesonyamortonfir Loved doing this interview with @thesonyamortonfirthshow -one of those conversations where time disappeared! Check out her YouTube channel to listen to the interview where we discuss tips on how to enhance sex and pleasure💖

You can also check out the many other interviews on her YouTube channel 🦋

#MiBSonyaShow
#thesonyamortonfirthshow
#talkaboutsex
#sexcoach 
#sarahrosebright
    One of my fav quotes. What expression is wanting t One of my fav quotes. What expression is wanting to expand or be birthed through you? 🙏🏽💖 #authenticself #authentic #livingintentionally

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